Text : Eccle. 10:1; 1 Tim. 3:1-7

 

The family relationship is important to God. The home and family is God’s idea and plan. To succeed, you need to know what is on His mind about family relationship so you can walk in line with His Will purpose.
It is important that you know God's expectations for you so that you can carry your family along and live up to those expectations. If you must maintain the glory of your call, carry your family along.
Amplified
2 Now an overseer must be blameless and beyond reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 

3 not addicted to wine, not [b]a bully nor quick-tempered and hot-headed, but gentle and considerate, free from the love of money [not greedy for wealth and its inherent power—financially ethical]. 

4 He must manage his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity [keeping them respectful and well-behaved] 

5 (for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?). 

6 and He must not be a new convert, so that he will not [behave stupidly and] become conceited [by appointment to this high office] and fall into the [same] condemnation incurred by the devil [for his arrogance and pride]. 

7 And he must have a good reputation and be well thought of by those outside the church, so that he will not be discredited and fall into the devil’s trap.

Eccles 10:1,
A few dead flies will make even the best perfume stink. In the same way, a little foolishness can ruin much wisdom and honor.

What you fail to do in your home has a negative effect in your home and the Church. Whatever you do that results in reproach is an act of foolishness because it tend to spoil what you have spent years to build.
1Tim 3:1-7.

How to carry your family along :
Be at peace with members of your family and do not abuse or maltreat them.

Prov 11:29, msg,” Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air”.
When you treat your family unfairly, maltreat or hurt physically, emotionally with abusive language or insulting speech and sexual abuse, you end up with a behavior that shows you are insincere, hypocritical, double -tonged and double- faced. It will be difficult to carry along people that are hurting
in your home.
Prov. 12:18, “ There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”.

Prov. 15:4, “ A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit”. Psa.34:14,” Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it”. Rom. 14:19; Heb. 12:14.
*** Fathers, Do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged”. Col. 3:21
Always check if your actions and decisions are hurting members of your family. A quote says, “ The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart”. Come into God’s presence with your family members. Do family prayer altar and go to church together.
Do not leave them behind , as long as they are under your roof, you still have the authority to decide where they worship. Carry them along to serve God together. Give them transport fare to attend sub group meetings. What if when God instructed that Noah should come into the ark with his family
members he is not able to carry them along because they have the right to be where they want to be?
God knew that his children believe him, trusted his decisions and obedient to his authority. Even his married children could be carried along.

Gen. 7:1“ Then the Lord said to Noah, come into the ark, you and all your household, because I have seen that you are righteous before me in this generation “.
Col. 3:20, “ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord”. So, your children should know that their obedience to your instructions and authority pleases God.

Make spiritual decisions that includes your family members. Don’t be selfish. Anytime you have an opportunity to affirm, maintain, pronounce and testify of your commitment, include your family members. Put them in your spiritual womb, be their spiritual incubator. Be like a mother kangaroo who
put her babies ( joey) in a guided comfy pouch. Keep them in your spiritual loins. Include them in your prayers when you have the opportunity to do so.
Joshua 24:15
“ And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”.

You should be able to decide whom your family members should serve - The Most High God , and decide for your family where to serve God. If Joshua was not in charge, he would have just spoken for himself without including his family members.

Rule your household well
1Tim. 3:4-5 ( Amp)
“ He must rule his own household well , keeping his children under control, with true dignity, commanding their respect in every way and keeping them respectful. If a man does not know how to rule his own household, how is he to take care of the church of God?”
HOW SHOULD YOU RULE YOUR HOUSEHOLD WELL?
Give direction through the instructions you give. Don’t be quiet as a man. Be in charge. When you create a vacuum, your wife takes over just to fill up the vacuum. Don’t say your wife is domineering or has taken over. If you are in charge, she will not be in charge.
Integrate your wife’s vision into yours.
Teach them God’s word, Pray with them especially on personal challenges. Let them be able to confide in you and seek counsel from you.
Bond with members of your family so that you can gain their interest to work with you. Chat with them, play with them, love them and demonstrate the love, give them the best education as you can afford, clothe them, provide for their necessities spiritually, morally, academically, socially and physically.
Build and maintain a strong communication system in the home. Express your personal goals so they can pray along .
Understand their feelings and experiences. Express your concern and Help where necessary. Understand your wife, be considerate, give her credit or praise for all she does, 1Pt. 3:7; Prov. 31:28-31.
* Your family members should see Jesus in you. Your salvation gives them the assurance that you are follow-able, that they are save following your leading. Be a man of integrity, be truthful and disciplined. I have heard a pastor's wife saying she was not sure if her husband was born again.
* You must be a visionary leader. Don't lead them blindly. You should be able to consistently tell them what God is saying and leading you to do. Be decisive, show stability. Your consistency makes room for growth . Not that today you call yourself Evangelist, next week you become a Resident pastor then after one year, you become an itinerant preacher without a base, you make your family to suffer for it.
*Let your voice be heard strongly in the home. Give direction through godly teachings, instructions and discipline. They will follow your voice, Jn 10:8.  All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers but the sheep did not hear them.
* Raise an altar in your home through family devotion where you learn God's word and allow God meet with the family to release His blessings. Make room for them to also lead devotion in turns and to lead prayers.

* Pray with them and pray for individual especially on areas of challenge. Pray for their spiritual lives, studies and personal challenges.

*Bond with the members of your family so that you can gain their interest to work with you. Talk to them about what you do. My husband tells me what he does and seek for my input.
*Provide for their necessities Spiritually, morally, academically, socially and physical requirements. Some children don't seem to understand the sacrifices their parents go through in ministry, they should be educated and taught contentment.
Don’t be greedy at home and generous outside the home . Be generous both to your family and outsiders. Prov.(NIV) 15:27, “ A greedy man brings trouble to his family, but he who hates bribes will live”.
*Understand their feelings and experiences then help them where possible. Be responsible in the home and attend to areas of need, don't exhibit, I don't care attitude. Assist your wife and let the children see that you love their mother.
* Build and maintain a strong communication system in the home. Express your personal and family goals and ask for their input. Communicate love through your actions at home and not through your preaching alone. Let them see at home, the practical application of what you teach in Church.
* Do not leave your wife in the dark concerning Church matters, give her opportunities to privately ask you questions and not in the public. Let it not be seen that she is challenging your decisions publicly. Don’t hide what you do in the ministry from her, discuss with her and seek for her input.
5. Bring your family members under control and correct them when they are going wrong. Don’t pretend not to see their wrong, rebuke, correct, and put an eye on them,
1Sam. 3:11-14 (ERV)
“ The Lord said to Samuel, I will do some things in Israel that will shock everyone who hears about them, I will do everything I said I would do against Eli, I would punish his family forever. I will do this because Eli knew his sons were saying and doing bad things, but he failed to control them. That is why I swore an oath that sacrifices will never take the sins of the people in Eli’s family”

Make God proud of your ability to control and carry your family along, Gen. 18:19 God proudly said of Abraham, “ I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement.”

Titus 1:6-7 Amplified Bible (AMP)
“ namely, a man of unquestionable integrity, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of being immoral or rebellious. For the [a]overseer, as God’s steward, must be blameless, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not violent, not greedy for dishonest gain [but financially ethical]”.

In conclusion,

Amos 3:3
“ Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”  Receive the wisdom to be agreeable and be able to walk together with your family members in Jesus
name.

Song of Solomon 1:6,
“ They made me a keeper of the vineyard, but my own vineyard have I not kept”.
6 “Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I had to neglect”.
Oh God, help me and grant me the grace not to neglect my family but to take care of them and carry them along in Jesus name.